


Obsession

by childishillusions



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:50:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishillusions/pseuds/childishillusions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Killing Sr. Stonefell. Percy worries that he is becoming that which he is trying to fight against.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obsession

Percy covered his face in his trembling hands as he leaned against the door to the abandoned tavern they had holed up for the second night running. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he tilted his head until he hit the back of his head against the solid wooden doorframe and forced himself to take in several calming breaths as his mind went over the second battle… No _slaughter_ that he and Vox Machina had engaged in. While it was true that The Broker and his companions had been threatening someone who was an ally of theirs…

The exiled noble was uncertain as to _why_ he had screamed that the man’s soul had been forfeit… He whispered to himself as a memory of a dream was brought to the forefront of his mind. The column of smoke that had offered vengeance. He whispered to himself as the physical memory of bringing his Pepperbox up and leveling it at the hapless bastard who had happened upon himself and his companions after they had a terrible and very frustrating battle “What streak of madness lies inside of me?”

_His heart was beating loud and fast in his chest – but not from fear but a vindictive **wrath** and the utter certainty that he was going to be the one to land the killing blow on the enemy in front of him. This human man who dared to threaten an ally of **his** who had assisted in attempting to take revenge on the masterminds behind the slaughter of his family._

Now that Percy was thinking back on what had happened less than a week ago still made his throat constrict painfully and bile sour the back of his mouth, despite the fine food he had barely managed to keep down as he hid in Vax’s image as he watched the Briarwoods interact with the other council members of Tal’Dorei and his dear friends. The exiled noble (though he was loathed to admit it) had been terrified that Vox Machina would have been taken in by the Briarwoods’ outward displays of grace and kindness, despite the fact that they were treacherous, back-stabbing bastards and he had told them as much.

_Percival listened intently to Vex’ahlia’s questioning of the Briarwoods about who they were and how they came to be in possession of his homeland. The half-elf seemed to be able to feign the innocently curious, and the trustingly ignorant of their true schemes. The way the Ranger’s eyes widened in sympathy and shock of the news of the de Rolos’ passing suddenly by **illness** and how effortlessly Lady Briarwood lied – the catch in the bitch’s throat and temporary break in decorum with a demure flash of mourning, shock and discomfort over a subject that hurt to think about… For a couple of moments the exiled noble feared that Vex and the others of Vox Machina would be pulled into believing the Briarwoods lies and he would be once again be abandoned by circumstances outside of his own control by those whom he cared for most…_

“What is the truth that my fears reveal?” the gunslinger asked himself as he realized that some of his overwhelming sense of aggression toward the Briarwoods – and most definitely misplaced against The Broker had been due in part to the fact that he had been terrified that he would lose the people who had become the closes thing to family since they had found him in that Pelor-forsaken dungeon and decided to rescue him? He had known at the time that he would need to prove himself useful in order to at least get out of the city, which he did his utmost to do so.

_A gravely voice whispered in his mind as he screamed lord Briarwood’s name in an attempt to get the vampire’s attention. It pushed him to take the shot – to take his bloody vengeance on those who had stripped him of his family – along with nearly killing Vax. He knew it was only nearly as he could just barely see the other’s lips moving in the light of the mostly-full moon overhead. “Vengeanceeee. Kill them Percy!”_

“What evil force makes this voice speak to me?” The exiled noble asked himself softly, so as to not wake the others.  He remembered the voice again urging him to utterly obliterate Stonefell… And he had complied without so much as a flinch “What darker side of me does it reveal?” He wanted to believe that whatever was whispering to him was some sort of creature beyond himself (although he knew that such a thing, if true would cause a whole host of other issues and complications that would need to be addressed and soon before the demonic entity took him over fully)… But Percy wasn’t certain that the voice in his head that did not sound like his own _was_ a different being.

Keyleth had said that they had tried to get his attention for ten minutes after Stonefell and his guards had been killed in order to get his input on how to start the interrogation process and what they should ask the man whose tongue had been ripped out entirely by Grog at his request. “What is this strange obsession that is tearing me apart?” the white-haired man hauntedly whispered to no one but himself as his mind once again dragged up fresh memories.

_As soon as he had spoken, Percival had known that Grog was going to do something that no reasonable person would have thought that the Goliath should have done. However in the split second before the Barbarian had finished cranking the toady’s head back and forced his fingers into the human’s mouth the request for Grog to stop had been on his lips. He had taken a breath in to speak when –_

_” **No, Percival.** He deserves this and anything else you and your companions do to him. He works with them willingly. He crushes others under his feet. He is as guilty as Stonefell is of the destruction of your home as it once had been.” The dark voice rumbled ominously as the noble’s jaw tightened a little._

“Some strange, deranged expression of what’s inside my heart?”  The human asked himself as the memory of the cruel satisfaction he had gotten when Vuck had let out gargled screams – first from Grog tearing out what looked like the man’s entire tongue…. And the screams as Percy himself had cauterized the other’s bleeding wound.

_“We should let them know who they are dealing with, Percy. Let them know that the message on the Sun Tree was received and that you will respond in kind. The List is still hot, and being a messenger is part of what this foul wretch before you did for them. Let him for once send a message for a de Rolo.” The voice – or was it his own darker thoughts? Rumbled in the back of his mind. It had sounded like a brilliant idea. A way to terrify the evil, and to instill some hope in those who had not fallen to the Briarwood’s charm or were beaten into utter submission._

“Am I the man I appear to be? Or am I someone I don’t know?” The Gunslinger honestly couldn’t tell at the moment. He knew that he had done many good things with Vox Machina – saving Emon, rescuing children, among many, many smaller but no less good deeds… On the other hand he was scaring himself at the depth of his own darkness. Percy had known that going to Whitestone would dredge up his darker thoughts and desires… But he had not expected himself to hurtle down so dark a path. “I fear some monster drawing near to me.”

It was becoming painfully apparent to the exiled noble – and to his friends and companions by his recent bloody deeds and dark words that something was twisting inside of him. Or perhaps had always been twisted, but had been hidden by distance from the source of his pain and agony… As well as a need to show decency around others? He knew that Keyleth was wary of him now in a way that she had not been before… And that Vax was watching him much more closely than before he had explained his past with the despots in charge of Whitestone.

_The pleasure he felt at the dawning look of horror on the Broker’s face as Percy unloaded his gun into the man’s chest. It was a fitting look to the idiotic mercenary who dared to face him. The satisfaction of knowing that the man’s soul was going to be tormented, wherever it was going._

_The dark delight Percy had felt coursing through his veins as he slaughtered the first guard, had gotten the killing blow on Stonefell… The relief when he had seen one of the names on The List vanish – as eerie as it had been to see it being magically removed by a force he did not recognize, nor had he known was woven into the pepperbox._

Was he… Was he no better than the Briarwoods? Percival wanted to reject that terrifying thought out of hand. He had not violently taken over the castle that rightfully belonged to a peaceful noble family. He had not slaughtered the rulers and nobles of a town in order to fully take control of the town the noble family ruled over. But he had tortured a man who had given them information that – by the other’s terrified reactions – did appear to be true. The entrance of the hidden way into the castle was the same one he and his sister Cassandra had escaped from, which was true enough. There had been no additional information, nor had there been any reason to torture Stonefell’s head minion in the way that he had…

But Percy had _wanted_ Vuck to suffer some of the pain that had been inflicted on himself five years ago when he had been taught those terrible arts by Doctor Ripley. The gunslinger could feel his body start to shake in full-body tremors as he tried to pull himself together… He needed to have that long conversation with the others  of Vox Machina. He had pulled his mask down for battle again… and had apparently been surrounded in smoke as he killed Stonefell (not that he had noticed either at the time, and nor did he remember doing so himself). “Becoming clear to see, and what I fear to be, be so?”

Was he becoming as evil and twisted as the Briarwoods?


End file.
